Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Words

Right now, most of my touring are done inside our service bus. Which is actually the point of most conferences. They invite you to a picturesque city then when you attend, they set you up to a hectic schedule as if jetlag is something you can just shower off. Our plane passed through Abu Dhabi then to Oman and finally to Hyderabad. We were set off to a wrong hotel and then other snafus followed. On the first days, the sessions were blah and just when you are prepared, its almost the end of the conference and you have no time to tour. Anyway, I learned that Indians love words. Tarpaulin is inexistent here. They love to paint on walls. Only Tollywood actors are on billboards. I noticed that most inns are known as "working men hostels with ac" or "working women hostels with ac." No playing men and women together. Also "Tree oxygen. Free oxygen." When a shop says, Hot Chips. Believe it. And then one time, we stopped and right in front of me is an iron post with the hammer and sickle on top. I could have saluted it. CPI. Communist Party of India. It's so overground I wanted to cry.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Indian Condom Song, Just so you know how exciting my life is here

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Motorists

I first thought that Pinoys are the worst drivers in the world. Until I went to India. Here in Hyderabad, I never saw a zebra lane (pedestrian crossing) and you see social strata at work here. The autorickshaws just weave in and out of the area so fast. Then most of the cars are rebuilt colonial Buicks painted white. Then there are the sacred buffalos that rule the roads (can't touch them). Prayers are needed to cross the road.

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Suneeta


A few moments from now I would be a few meters away from Suneeta Rao. She will be promoting her music television segment about the "lost" daughters of India. Because of sex selection, they say that 50 million "girls' were either aborted or killed because of the culture's preference for boys. Figures in China, Vietnam and Nepal would bring the figure to 100 million. So who is Suneeta? She is Tollywood's most popular actress and certainly one of the most beautiful women in the world.

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Hyderabad Joke

Sen. Pong Biazon told me this encounter he had with a priest in Naga. The priest told this sexy (sexually-sensitive) senator, "God grants us that sex is only for procreation."
"So I told the priest, if a couple knew about the menstruation of his wife and they still do it, they're committing a sin? If they are menopausal, they are also sinning. The priest left," he said, after another spicy Indian lunch.
So much for dogma and dogshit.

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Divorce

One thing I learned in this conference is that Philippines and Malta are the only countries that do not permit divorce. Hooray for La Filipinas! The country with the most number of happy marriages! No? Well, take it on the other side. At least President Arroyo and Mike Arroyo are together till they die. What a faithful pair!! No?

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Chaka

Chaka is one of the foundations of our gayspeak. Beauty may be skin deep but chaka lives on forevah! Our common etymology is that chaka came from Menchu Menchaca, a 70s model but then Menchu is beautiful naman while chaka is pangit, ugly. So I thought it came from Chaka Khan, the singer who may not be beautiful but the voice is still beautiful. Until i joined this conference and found out that chakkah (with an h) means eunuch in Pakistan. Anyway, some social scientists interviewed about 300 of them in Lahore and found out that almost all are sex workers and 80 percent have sex daily. Now you know what eunuch is. No? They are unique (another of the pronounciation). I am surprised that eight percent have vaginal sex. Hmmm. It was a poster presentation and I kept on going back to see who is the social scientist and to help me see if chakkahs are chaka indeed. He never showed up.

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Kama Sutra

I went to Shilparamam in Hyderabad which is the combination of SM and Nayong Pilipino with more spice. Like an aesthete (he he), I was attracted to those small watercolor paintings similar to the Kama Sutra miniatures. They are of elephants etc and cost about P500. Of course, I told the painter, Kama sutra, to make a comparison and he brought me inside his shop and showed me original renditions (oxymoron!) of Kama Sutra and some more graphic. But they cost 1,500 rupees. So quandary. Good thing I have no rupees yet otherwise...I would be exhibiting them with curtains.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Repolyo Republic

A highly interactive UP Baguio alumni e-group organized by Gino Orticio is known as the Sayote Republic. What’s in these names, now the hottest music group on campus calls itself the Repolyo Revolution. For one thing the names ground (useful verb) these groups, localized bondings, suggesting Pinoy identity or the defining of such, in all sorts of modes and genres. Fred Pablico, a “founding father” of Repolyo, speaks of their music as a way of consciousness-raising: “Ang pagmulat sa iba na mayaman ang ating kultura at m e r o n t a y o n g maipagmamalaki sa buong mundo. Hindi natatapos ang musika bilang avenue for entertainment. We use this too for progress and enlightenment….” More
Kasama si Shanti, ang anak ni Carol Gamiao!

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Cracked Balut


cracked.com featured the six most frightening foods starting with ant eggs in Mexico (we also have that), maggotty cheese from Italy, fish preserved in lye from Norway, mice wine from Korea and pacha, cooked sheep head from Iraq. Guess what's number one? Altogether now: Balut! Kevin Nadal, bring on da petition.

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Sad

Sometimes news websites are too smart for comfort. They pair their ads with the news content without considering what news is was. Take these examples:


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Bruce Lee

Waht else do you know about Bruce Lee that I don't know? Ha ha ha. Don't call you child "Phoenix." Because Bruce, who's partly German also, was named "Sai Fon" or "Little Phoenix." Chinese sometimes name their sons with a girls name like Little Phoenix and their daughters with a man's name like "Phoenix Suns" to confuse the Devil but they end up confusing themselves and the Civil Registry. So like River Phoenix, Bruce Lee died like a comet and will live again. He was the Cha Cha champion of Hong Kong and has a notbook of the different combinations of cha cha moves. He never lost a fight but Trobador Ramos had been telling us that he did beat him. Tsing Tsong Tsai said he beat Trobador but I should not write about that. Bruce Lee is also a boxing champion. More on him later. You know what i used to crave? His yellow tracksuit (some said jumpers) until Uma Thurman used her won in Kill Bill. I said to myself, Sa iyo na. She can have it. What can we do? She owned us with that one. Now I wish I can own her.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

India


By tomorrow evening, I will be in Hyderabad. Not the center of Bollywood but Tollywood! Girly Man!

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Mel's Mailing a Letter

Ms. Mel Garcia is going postal. She wrote:

So you think having a letter mailed is easy? Not if you’re in China and you don’t speak Chinese. I’ve been on assignment in Shenzhen for almost two years but I still don’t dare go to the post office. Whenever I need to mail something to Hong Kong, my home base, I ask the front desk clerk at Fraser Place (the serviced apartment where I live), to do it for me. I quickly discovered that this is not exactly a worry-free solution. Check this out:
‘Mail order’ # 1: Express mail to Hong Kong Immigration. I left ¥20 for postage (USD1:¥8). When I came back from work, I was told I needed to pay ¥5 more because my letter was sent by courier.
#2: Express mail to HSBC Hong Kong. This time I left ¥25 for postage. When I came back from work, the front desk clerk gave me back ¥16 because they sent my letter by express mail which cost only ¥9.
#3: Express mail again to HSBC Hong Kong. I left ¥20 for postage. When I came back from work, I was told my letter had not been mailed because a decision needed to be made. According to the courier (which was not the same as the one in #1), if I give the phone number of the addressee, I’ll pay only ¥30; if not, I’ll pay ¥50. The letter was addressed to a P.O. Box so I took the letter back to my apartment, searched for the number of the HSBC customer hotline, and wrote it down on the envelope.
#4: The next morning, I gave back the HSBC letter to the clerk and I also gave her another document to mail - my Income Tax Return addressed to the Inland Revenue Dept of HK. I also wrote down the phone number of the revenue officer in charge of my account on the envelope so that the courier will charge me less. Because this letter was quite heavy, I left ¥100 for both letters. When I came back from work, I was told that the courier picked up my letter to HSBC but in order to save me money, they sent my ITR by ordinary mail…hu-hu-hu
#5: Another letter to HSBC HK. I told the front desk clerk to send it via 1-day express mail. She asked me to leave ¥20. When I came back in the afternoon, she gave me back 18.50 and said ordinary postage cost only 1.50. The letter took a week to reach HSBC but since it wasn’t that urgent, I didn’t make an issue of this latest mix-up.
#6: Another letter to HSBC HK. I’ve had it with Fraser so I asked our project Girl Friday, a local, to mail it for me via one-day express. I gave her ¥10 and the next day she gave me back ¥4 change.
#7: Another letter to HSBC. This time I took it with me to HK and mailed it there. No hassle. All I needed to do was get HK$1.20 worth of stamps from a dispensing machine beside the mailbox.

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Poverty Map Contest

Writing and Photo Essay Contest on PEF National Poverty Map

The Peace and Equity Foundation's National Poverty Map is intended as a guide to provide meaningful intervention and partnerships to help poor communities. The first PEF National Poverty Map was done in 2003 where 28 priority provinces were identified. to date, 18 of the 29 provinces (including NCR) have been mapped and the recently updated 2007 PEF National Poverty Map will be launched to the public this December.

To mark this milestone, PEF is conducting a PEF Poverty Map Creative Writing and Photo Essay Contest in line with the 2007 Social Development Week celebrations in December at the Glorietta Activity Center, Makati City.

The contest aims to create awareness and educate the youth on the country's poverty situation. Through creative writing and photography, the youth are given the opportunity to express their learning and appreciation of the prevalence of poverty in the country, as described in the National Poverty Map. Their works will then be used to generate more interest in PEF's poverty reduction programs.

Eligibility:

1. The contest is open to all Filipino citizens ages 18 to 25 years old enrolled in any Higher Education Institution.
2. Collaboration between and among two or more people is not allowed.
3. Employees, officers, members of the Board of Trustees and the General Assembly of PEF including spouses, children and relatives up to the second degree of consaguinity and affinity are disqualified.

Contest Categories

1. Creative Writing Contest
2. Photo Essay Contest

The electronic format of the National Poverty Map and entry forms are available in selected colleges and universities and at the PEF area offices and partner organizations nationwide. It could also be viewed and downloaded online at www.pef.ph.

Contest Theme:

Poverty in the Philippines comes in many faces: faces of sadness, despair, fear, anxiety and perhaps anger for the pain and suffering that people go through. But through the cooperation of community members and with the active involvement of stakeholders, these dull images could be filled with color and life. As the poverty situation in our country is a story filled with the stark contrasts of colors, we face the challenge of creating new faces of hope, excitement, optimism and determination to fulfill the promise of a better and brighter tomorrow. Hence the theme, "Mga Kulay ng Kahirapan, Hamon ng Kinabukasan"

Technical Requirements of the Entries:

1. For Creative Writing Entries:
* Each contestant for the Creative Writing Contest is allowed to submit only one (1) entry form of a short story in Filipino, English or both.
* The entry should not exceed two thousand (2,000) words and should be typewritten or computer printed double-spaced using Arial font size 12 on a standard short bond paper. Only the titles of the entries can appear on the short story or essay.
2. For Photo Essay Entries:
* Each contestant for the Photo Essay Contest is allowed to submit only one (1) entry composed of three (3) digital color photographs in 5R size.
* Each entry must include digital copies of the photographs in a CD. Maximum file size for each photograph is 2MB.
* Each entry must have a title and every photo must have a caption at the back describing where the photographs were taken and what they are depicting. The caption should not exceed fifteen (15) words.
* Each photograph must also be properly numbered to identify the sequence of the entry (eg. 1 of 3, 2 of 3, etc.). The name of the contestant should not appear in any of the photographs.
3. Each entry must be an interpretation or story of poverty in the Philippines using the National Poverty Map based on the theme given.
4. Each entry must be wholly original. An entry found to have committed any violations of applicable laws in plagiarism and protection of intellectual property will be automatically disqualified.
5. No story, essay or photograph that has already been published or publicly distributed by the author may be entered.
6. An entry that qualifies for the finals cannot be published or distributed prior to December 4, 2007.

Submission of Entries

1. All entries should be submitted with duly accomplished entry forms.
2. All entries for submission must include photocopies of the following:
* Current school registration form or Certificate of Registration from the Registrar's Office and;
* Birth Certificate or Baptismal Certificate
3. Entries should be placed in a short brown envelope and can be mailed or personally delivered by the contestant or his/her authorized representative to the PEF National Poverty Mapping Contest Secretariat.
4. Entries that are received by the Secretariat after the deadline must be post marked in order for the entry to be valid.

Screening of Entries

1. Code numbers will be assigned to all entries for purposed of confidentiality.
2. Each contest category will have six (6) finalists which will be determined by the contest categories' respective Screening Comittees.
3. The decision of the Screening Committee is final and binding.

Criteria for Screening and Judging

With the creative interpretation of the PEF National Poverty Map being foremost in mind, the criteria for each contest are as follows:

For the Creative Writing Contest:

1. Substance and Originality: 40%
2. Writing Style, Composition and Organization: 40%
3. Use of PEF National Poverty Map Data: 20%

For the Photo Essay Contest:

1. Relevance to the Theme: 25%
2. Composition: 25%
3. Creativity: 35%
4. Use of the PEF National Poverty Data: 15%

Board of Judges

1. A Board of Judges will choose the winners from among the 6 finalist for each contest category.
2. The judges' decision will be final and binding.

Prizes and Awards:

1. Each of the six (6) finalist for each contest category will receive individual certificates.
2. One (1) Grand Prize Winner will be chosen for each contest category. The Grand Prize Winners will receive a TROPHY and a PEF DEVELOPMENT ENCOUNTER PACKAGE for TWO which includes:
* Roundtrip Airfare/Ship or Bus fare to any of the 29 PEF Priority Provinces
* Free lodging
* Pocket Money (Php 1,000 per day/person)
3. The remaining five finalists will receive Consolation Prizes consisting of brand new cell phones with Php 1,000 worth of load.
4. Other outstanding entries worthy of recognition may be given special awards. These special awardees will be chosen by PEF.
5. All prizes are not convertible to cash and must be availed of within 90 days after the contest finals.

Important Dates:

Official Contest Launch: October 08, 2007
Deadline for Submission of Entries: November 16, 2007
Announcement of Finalists: November 26, 2007
Announcement of Winners: December 4, 2007

For more information, please contact the nearest PEF office.

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How to Hide your Porn

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Top Vampire Movies

snarkerati.com voted the Top 70 Vampire movies using the ratings made by IMDB and rotten tomatoes. Funny, but our favorite vampire movie is only 11th. So here are the Top 11.
11. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

10. Cronos (1993)
9. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)
8. Dracula: Pages from a Virgin’s Diary (2002)
7. Near Dark (1987)
6. Horror of Dracula (1958)
5. Martin (1977)
4. Black Sunday (1960)
3. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
2. Dracula (1931)
1. Nosferatu (1922)

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Kohei Yoshiyuki

Yoshiyuki's exhibit in New York has been written and analyzed too much because it dwelt about a Japan that fits into our stereotype. His images are about couples making love in public parks at night. More importantly, he also included a group of men and women who hide in the bushes watching these lovers. Yoshiyuki spent some time with these people who were sometimes so emboldened that they would also be groping the legs of the women. Non-Japanese may be shocked about this perversion but cmon...I know a 40 year old woman who still get the kicks seducing young men and doing it at UP Sunken Garden. One Valentine Day, we were egged on by a classmate to drink, We don't know it yet then but we went to Rizal Park in Manila and paid I think P2 for the Chinese Garden. That turned out to be where couples who can not afford Anito go, doing it among the Chinese bamboo. It was too dark to watch and we were not as emboldened as these Tokyo gangs. But the funny part was that we were caught by some policemen and were about to be brought to the police station. In other words, we paid our way out. We, our classmates, never talked about it. I don't know how to put this embarrassing situation in a poem. So it stays here for a while.

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Lapis (Laz)Uli

Obsessed with pencils, are we? I have some pencils that will cure your obsession. Here's the gay pencil:


And then here's an example of a pencil whose "lead" is made from a dead person's cremains (cremated ash). Only about 200 pencils can be made from an average cremains. Good for writers.


Then here's a screw pencil where you just pass the screw through the pencil. You must be very bored to have this.

And The Pessimist Pencil. What's the point indeed? What's the point of sharpening when everything is useless. Haay! Gotta have that.

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Staple Center


There are times when you feel like stapling anything at all (papers, lips, lives, fingers) but is too emphatic or sensitive about the outcome. I give you your virtual stapler.
Then you can take off the staples with this oh-so-real dino staple remover

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Zoom

Butch Perez alerted me to this New York Times three-part blog by Errol Morris about the "hidden truths of photos."

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I am Amelia Earwax

(Actually that was Delfin Tolentino's original but I can't resist)At first, you thought it was the girl picking her nose who would do it but it was the pink guy on the other side who snaked into his ear and ate his earwax. Eeew. That is Kevin Rudd and he may be Australia's next prime minister.

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Game N Watch


Hahaha. If I counted all the eggs I saved, I could have raised the protein level of all Filipinos at that time. My neighbor, on the other hand, stalled everyone one morning when she set the record for Octopus. Was in their restroom upon going to school and she can't stop. She was late. The whole family was pissed. But the only thing that was important was she set the record.

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"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian.

They're not laughing now." - a classic from Bob Monkhouse, comedian (1928-2003)

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Reminder for Barangay Officials: It's Your Face


Voters can judge a politician's competence in the blink of an eye—or so they think they can, a new study suggests. Previous research hints that voters go for the most competent candidates, but the new analysis reveals people can forge steadfast opinions simply by glancing at a candidate's picture. The study highlights some of the shallow behaviors of a sizeable chunk of the voting population, said co-author Alexander Todorov, a psychologist at Princeton University. "People are looking for the right information about a candidate, they're just looking in the wrong place," Todorov said. "We're seeing that snap judgments play a bigger role in voting than we thought." The study's findings are detailed in the Oct. 22 issue of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Gerry et al


I added Gerry Alanguilan's blog as well as those of Roland T, Mutts, Kapeng Mainit, Jerz and Illustration Art. Also I have a CBox so you can post messages while I'm away in India. Hay naku, as an example of hindsight, I am only now putting labels in my blog. I am still 1/10th of the way.

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Larry Cruz


When we were in Larry Cruz's private resort in Magalang, Pampanga, I eyed this old menu with the revisions done. Larry owns the best restaurants in Malate and you can see the changing culinary taste of the Manilenos leafing through these old menu.

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U.S. Manga

Dumbledore Tshirt


Already 7,000 sold the last time I checked. The guy below would need this.

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Makes Love Just Like a Woman

Choy told me that his favorite karaoke singer of choice is now Bob Dylan. So I told him if he sings, "Just Like a Woman." And lungkot noon, he said. True. The last refrain haunts me:
I just can't fit
Yes, I believe it's time for us to quit
When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don't let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world.
Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

Or maybe I told Choy it is because of this:

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Lapis

Ever since I was young, I call my pencil, lapis. Only Mongoloids call them "mongol." I love my lapises. Sometimes I still buy them whenever I pass by them. I love the "B" series of Staedler and one time, chanced upon a case of 6B in an ukay-ukay shop. Then leter I saw Pyx Picart searching for pencils. I brought him there only to realize that someone else already bought the other two boxes. All thats left are about 10 Faber Castell colored pencils and they are all of the same color: white! I gave Pyx one 6B pen and one FB pencil eraser. Cute pencils from Japan I buy to give away and can not use them. I hate Bensia pencil which is advertised as the "ever sharp" because they come in "bullets" which is not what I know about pencils. There's a collector of pencils and he has amassed more than a thousand different pencils all over the world bannered under 136 brands. There is no Mongol! Maybe it is under EF or Eberhard Faber and sho' enuf, it's there.
I also learned that there's money in so-called natural pencils, defined as "natural, unpainted variety of incense cedar pencils." Unpainted ones are preferred. One of the natural pencil brands is Mongol but funny because one commented, "I’m skeptical about the Mongol pencils cited here (pencilrevolution.com) and also for sale at PencilThings.com. Maybe they are fine pencils, but they are manufactured in the Philippines by a company called Amspec Corporation. Their stamping of “EF” on the pencils and their inclusion of the name “Eberhard Faber” on the box is suspicious. Maybe they have a license to do so–I don’t know. What may be a bit of irony is that Amspec itself has suffered from Chinese counterfeiters faking their Mongol pencils!"
This drew a reaction from another: "AMSPEC does indeed have the EF & Mongol Licenses for the Philippenes. They also have Crayola and other licenses for that market. If this pencil is sourced by PencilThings directly via AMSPEC or one of thier authorized distributors then it is likely under proper license agreement. Although I do not know if this license applies to exporting their products to other markets such as the US or not. Mongol and EF remain part of the Newell-Sanford owned marks however they are not used on their US produced pencils any longer. You are absolutely correct that AMSPEC has been under lots of pressure from Chinese counterfeiters in the home market in the Philippenes."
So our Philippine Mongols are their last holdover. And it is ironic that the Chinese Mongols are counterfeit because the Mongols as in Genghis Khan are in China. Mongol was America's Number One pencil until the 1920s so the old Mongols are indeed valuable.
By the way, there is also no "Lapis" brand in the site above. I learned later though that FILA, Italy's top pencil brand, is an acronym of Fabbrica Italiana Lapis d Affini. And that Indonesians call their pencil, lapis, also.
Then this naughty 1957 Mongol ad:



So they indeed calculated in the 1950s that Mongol has 16,230 words in it because the scientific claim was sourced to one blurry laboratory. How long are the words? I calculated that to about 50 pages of almost continuous writing similar to a novel. So Ernest Hemingway (not Hemmingway like how Inquirer spelled it in their article on the beatified priests)msut have exhausted to stumps at least five pencils. This reminds me of "Kilometrico" ballpen and how my best friend Bernardo Abad indeed tried to test if it can wrtie a kilometer long so he drew lines on the paper and he got bored and we never got to the end.

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Monday, October 22, 2007

"What Kind of People Would Do That?"

This was what Norberto Gonzales, GMA's Security Adviser, said about the Glorietta bombing. He later said that only mga "sira-ulo" would think of such thing. Gonzales was a member of the Light-The-Fire Movement which bombed PICC during the Marcos years. The LTFM may be considered a patriotic act now (notwithstanding the fact that Nonoy Zuniga lost a leg during the blast) but if Marcos is still in power now, where would Norberto be in the scheme of things? The fact that the government authorities were so fast in finding the culprit (Rajah Soliman Group) and slow in admitting that a bomb containing C4 caused it makes everybody suspicious of the involvement of the government. "What kind of people would do that," he asked. Of all people.

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Power Saving

I chose this blogger typeface because it is power-saving. And as a friend said, it looks classic not like you na classic Nescafe. Anyway, San Francisco recently had a power outage day (voluntarily turning off your power for one hour especially at night) which they plan to do every week. Google sympathized by having this design for that day:

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Korean Street Food (Patatas Naman)

This is called tornado which is a single potato spiralized and cholesterolized. But the presentayshun is Bauhaus:

I can not say the same with this another potato-based fried snack. They should call this Extreme Bolitas:

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Lolcat Reaction to Rowling's Outing

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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Wine

From Korea, we give you mouse wine

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Cellphone Law

While getting meat for my story a while back, I called up a source and dialed a wrong number. So somebody else answered and saying sorry and waiting for the angry answer took one minute and one second. Then another call. Another wrong number. When I finally got the right number, a girl answered, "The number you dialed can not be reached." Then later, a busy signal. Then a choppy signal. Oh, I realized I was within the "Law of the Cellphone" which states, If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Other laws, actually corollaries of Murphy's Law, are as follows:

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner, even if it is square.
Law of Visual Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee Temperature: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the cost of the carpet.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are

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Kanthoughts

Carmelita Garcia, blogging from China, provided us about another possible etymology of "kanthought."
"There was a cartoon that appeared on one of the very first issues of Jingle Magazine (yes, I’m that ancient) which featured this nugget of wisdom: ‘Canned Thoughts are better than Banned Thoughts," she wrote.

So, our kanthought has a slightly Martial Law ring to it. Hmmmm

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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Elvis Sighting at the Glorietta Bombing

From GMA 7's actual list of injured during the Glorietta Bombing:

(Makati Medical Center, 3 in ICU, 1 in operating room)
Arayon, Maria Isabel (discharged)
Arroyo, Melanie (discharged)
Balendrez, Jerick (discharged)
Bolano, Shirley (discharged)
Burcer, Jeffrey (discharged)
Calope, Christine (discharged)
De Asis, Jennie (discharged)
De la Cruz, Christopher (discharged)
De Leon, Evangeline (discharged)
Dela Cruz, Teresita (discharged)
Enriquez, Carmen (discharged)
Estiller, John Kenneth (discharged)
Estiller, Ma. Generosa (discharged)
Gannaban, Rolando (discharged)
Gonzalez, Alberto III (discharged)
Honopre, Sally (discharged)
Layo, Irene (discharged)
Liwanag, Gerard Florence (discharged)
Monteniz, Grace (discharged)
Orna, Lodevina (discharged)
Pableo, Lailani T. (discharged)
Pamplina, Red (discharged)
Pasamba, Mylene (discharged)
Pascual, John Henry (discharged)
Peregrino, Airish Lou (discharged)
Peregrino, June Lester (discharged)
Pineda, Christopher (discharged)
Punsal, Ailene (discharged)
Racelia, Ma. Cecilia (discharged)
Raymaro, Mary Grace (discharged)
Regachuelo, Gina (discharged)
Reyes, Fely (discharged)
Sampiano, Erwin (discharged)
Santos, Donald (discharged)
Santos, Lady Christine (discharged)
Sapitan, Annabelle (discharged)
Soriano, Angela Marie (discharged)
Talingting, Silvestre (discharged)
Villareal, Ana Patricia (discharged)
Yap, Shiela Marie (discharged)
Tingson, Sheila Mae (forwarded to operating room)
Cañada, Yvonne (from Acute Care Center)
Dunca, Cristina (from Acute Care Center)
Yvonne Kim (from Acute Care Center)
Kim, Haewoon (Rm. 421)
Romasanta, Mia Therese (Rm. 919)
Romasanta, Stephanie (Rm. 919)
Romasanta. Rafael Antonio (Rm. 919)
Marcelo, Maricel (ICU-6)
Escoto, Bodie (ICU-7)
Robinson, Orlanda (ICU-8)
Bajar, Cesaria
Dela Cruz, Sarah Jane
Elvis
Gallien, Marilou
Garcia, Mabini Jr.
Garcia, May Flor
Magdale, Custodio Jr.
Mappala, Rosalino
Molet, Ma. Corazon
Montenegro, Melvin
Montenegro, Regina
Ong, Roman
Ortiz, Athea Rose
Ramilo, Agnes
Reynaro, Mary Grace
Rodriguez, Wilson
Santos, Josephine
Torres, Irene

But seriously, I Googled the names of the casualties, and Janine Marcos and Rainier Tan have Friendster accountss. Rainier (if he is this) is from Sariaya and a CEU graduate. He was sure to get the job as an ad man. Rainier sounds to be full of hope and confidence. We hope he is not the one as much as we hope no one would die for all these political maneuverings aka terroristic acts. Janine loves anime and started Friendstering only last June. She still has no friends.

Update: It was an older Rainier who died.

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Yes, This is The Peach That The Monkey Stole


And I will do this to you for not answering my quiz two nights ago.

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Kiwi

This is a kiwi:

This is also a kiwi:

Perplexed, or as Choy would have it, conundrumized? This is the interconnection:

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Bliss Full of Activities

From Jim, the favorite American biker of Ed, Choy, Chona and Grace Subido:

Shanti and I are just back from an amazing two week stay in Singapore. We attended,along with 3200 others on the Buddhist path, a series of teachings and events of Kadampa Buddhism. We brought back many photos and fond memories which we are happy to share...just ask us when you pop in. Also we are selling this Tibetan sect's book ' Introduction to Buddhism ' hardbound and beautifully produced for 850 pesos only. For every book sold we are donating 350 pesos to the International Temple project of NKT Buddhism.Curious ? Check out the website www.kadampa.org

EXHIBIT OPENING

Saturday 20 October 6-9 pm at BLISS
' BIYAHE '
An exhibit by five female artists from Manila (Ruth Jacob, Jhoan Medrano, Lady Mendoz, Guia Salumbides and Vanessa Tamayo) There will be food and drinks. The exhibit will be for the benefit of the local NGO S.A.V.E. which stands for Stop the Abuse and ViolencE against women which Shanti and I are proud to be founding members. Members of S.A.V.E. and four of the five artists will be on hand to meet with us.

Sunday 21 October 7:30 pm at BLISS

Sunday night ART film
WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION. 98 minutes. A documentary produced in 2004 about the media's role in the IRAQ invasion...thought provoking and well produced.

MY VEGGIE DAY PROMO

You have been asking for something AFTER our successful "red rainy rebate" promo we ran from 5/15-8/15 so here it is.

Fact : 85 % of our customers are non vegetarian.
Fact : Many have expressed interest in how to get started.
Conclusion : "My Veggie Day" Program
For : Baguio area residents
Ages : 5 - 95 years old
Those over 95 will be considered on a case by case basis !
Period : Indefinite
So here is how it will work.

* You choose ‘ my veggie day ‘ anytime Monday - Sunday. Sign up with your server…she will give you your ‘ veggie day ‘ card for your future use.
* Every time you dine with us on ‘ your veggie day ‘ you will get a 15 % discount voucher for your bill that day… you can use within a month…any day you like.

What we like about this program ?
Gets you ‘ thinking veggie ‘ at BLISS at least one day a week…that’s good for your body, the environment and the animal kingdom.
And
Means we will be looking for your smiling face at least once a week !
It costs you nothing to sign up AND saves you 15 % on your next visit AND the first time you use it you get a free BLISS patch….

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Pre-Cursor


Remember that award winning Japanese ad about how your cursor works? Nano-Japanese carrying a huge cursor sign. Well, this is the prototype:

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Stand Up at Hangar Market

We had a swell time at the Hangar Market noontime last October 17. But prior to that it was a nightmare as I was the only one talking to six different people at different levels of market bureaucracy. All were not receptive of the idea and two were violently against holding a concert at Hangar. They cited traffic and crowd control. Snatching and consumer complaints etc. The secret of diplomacy is to win one of them and use him or her to persuade the others. So at the last minute, we were able to hack it. March Fianza was there early to check the music and at 11 am was already ready to rumble. We can only pay one band, the Binhi. But one band tagged along. This was the Shakilan which is a sort of the Third World Music band. Binhi has been alive for 17 years and they have songs about the poor. Choy was feeling "da pressure" and was raring to go as well. City Hall was bargaining for a 1 pm start. We started at 12. There were so many people. The jeepneys which are used to carry vegetables became the balconies. Tourists actually forgot to buy veggies and stayed throughout the concert. The komboys were so cooperative. We rented their carts for the stage. The Vocas artists brought the wire installations they made in two days. The bands were comfortable with the crowd and the crowd was very cooperative and appreciative. The Binhi boys were still good and the Shakilan was a revelation with their Igorot music set to a slightly Andalusian feel because their percussionist is a Bolivian. People came and went and those who stayed forgot their hunger. This was the first time that a free concert was held there. The komboys were our friends from a previous event as they carried our Giant Condom last December 1 World AIDS Day along Session Road.
Well, that was fun. And of course everything would not be possible without the Philippine NGO Council for Population, Health and Welfare who provided everything except the patatas and for Chi Vallido, Pngoc deputy director who supervised everything except the washing of the patatas. Photo by Richard Balonglong

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

What is Monkey Steals the Peach?


Ask the Jedi squirrels

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Obi Wan N Chip N Dale

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Josh Closer

Did you hear about that Pinay who grabbed Josh Groban in Sydney and recorded the kinky-haired tenor's terrified face and blogged about it? No? Ask Ian Casocot. Anyway, Gobleth in our office was praying hard for a ticket and tried all her powers and came out nada. Until Ms. Letty Jimenez Magsanoc recalled an incident in Manor three years ago about Gob crazy over Josh and last week gave Gob a ticket like manna. Well, nag-leave si Gob early so she can be emotionally prepared and she was able to smuggle her camera. When the concert started, Josh was singing but Gob realized he was not on stage. Then Gob looked on her side and there he was, His Castratic Kinkiness, singing on the aisle. He was so close Gob could have grabbed him but his maskulado bodyguards made sure that the Sydney incident would not happen again. Sorry for Gob. Well, I was somewhere drinking Wolf Blass wine when Gob called at ipinarinig lang naman si Josh na tumitilaok live. I stared at my glass. It did not break. Sorry, Gob.

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God Weather

When it drizzles, we in Baguio say, "agsapsapri ni Apo Dios (God is showering i.e. while He speaks). When it really pours especially after a tragic happening (rains after the July 1990 Earthquake), we said, God is crying. We never had tornados (that will be the day!!!) or more precisely, waterspouts. Because then we would say, God is...

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No Tip Allowed

We used to think that once you tip a turtle, they're as good as soup. Not so, says this Argentinian snake-necked turtle. The secret is due to the design of their shells. Of course it will not help you in your daily problems but (at least for me) I can sleep better thinking that no turtle or tortoise would be slowly dying out there looking at the stars and cursing mankind:

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Standup

Being a "socialized" eventologist who ends up poorer than I started with each new event, another masochistic venture today and tomorrow. The Stand Up Against Poverty event in Baguio. It already started kanina when the Vocas Artists starring Chang Mai-bound Kigao Rosimo, Shunt Verdun, Rene Aquitania and the rest performed their poverty installation at the pavement beside Skyworld. The pedestrian traffic was blocked by this radiating chalk sun while Rene and Alan Manalastas came out with their Taong Grasa performance anew. Of course, the people had no choice but to watch and the City Demolition Team were waiting and waiting and making kalabit to me and EV Espiritu on when do we stop this traffic hazard. Well, EV and Kigao were bent on making the demolition squad fuming so they would demolish the art installation of colorful wire ghosts. I am so nervous because my name was in the permit even as I was still shuttling back and forth City Hall to get that permit. Well, all went well as they say. We dismantled our own thing. The one who was tasked to make people sign the Anti-Poverty said that 2/3 don't want to sign. Hmm. Tomorrow is a more challenging one. A free concert by a country western band right smack at the Hangar Market where the vegetable trucks dump their wares and carrots are being washed on the puddles. This is in conjunction with the comboys (porters) as we set our stage on their karitons. Punks from Malabon would also be having a gig there. Pretty tough ha?

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ProPublica

A new venture backed by philanthropies will start publishing investigative journalism articles beginning next year, looking to fill a gap being left as newspapers cut costs amid weak advertising. The organization, to be called ProPublica, will be headed by Paul Steiger, who was managing editor of The Wall Street Journal until earlier this year, the group said in a statement Monday. ProPublica will be based in New York and operate with a budget of about $10 million a year. But by the time it's fully staffed in 2008, it will employ 24 full-time reporters and editors. The group will officially launch in January. ProPublica will provide its articles free of charge through its own Web site as well as to leading news organizations. Richard Tofel, a former Dow Jones & Co. executive who will be general manager of ProPublica, said the group does not yet have arrangements with news organizations to publish the articles it produces.

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I Met a Little Accident

But the effect can be disastrous. I remember doing this when I was young. Should have went on. From Who Killed Bambi? blog




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Monday, October 15, 2007

Amigo Warfare

Eric Gamalinda has a new book, Amigo Warfare

If I had to sum up my impressions of America, I would list these: waste, innocence, vastness, poverty. [Michelangelo Antonioni]

Amigo Warfare


Because you seize our land
and call it hope,
because you manufacture desolation

and call it right-of-way. Because
your cavalries cut our children open
to expose their hearts of coal.

Because you send a shining fleet
of your youngest men,
lust still forming in their bones.

Because their bodies rape the bodies
of our neighbors. Because you sleep
soundly through it all.

Because you divide us from our history
and install a thousand checkpoints
in between.

Because you line the streets with bricks
torn down from temples,
because our sleepless gods

wander among the missing.
Because your prophets tell us there's a heaven
but there's no more room.

Because you feed your words
into our language, and now we speak
like strangers to one another.

Because you make our women wear
their nakedness like a gem.
Because you scorch the jungles

with the counterfeit daylight of cities.
Because you intoxicate our rivers.
Because you harpoon all our whales.

Because you teach us how to torture one another
with the simplest of elements,
fire and water.

Because you offer praise and weapons
to our dictators. Because you build blockades
around those who give us strength,

brother, sister, lover, friend.
Because you send your spies out
to investigate our dreams.

Because we dream the dangerous,
in which the world is fertile
with remembering, subversive

with desire. Because the old bury
the young. Because we use our sorrow
wisely, as armaments.

Because you brand our tongues
with silence. Because you watch us
in fear, even while we sing.

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Asu

China, which has a history of dog-eating, recently staged a fashionshow for dogs. Vivienne Westwood designed this "jacket" which is studded with white diamonds and sapphire. She is selling this for $2,500. Dogmeat in Comiles BTW is still P65 per order. Visit Andy Zapata's flickr for the comparison photo.

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Cute headlines

“Dear Sir:
As one of your earliest subscribers, I feel that I am entitled to challenge you to run this letter without one of your cutesie-pie headlines,” wrote a guy from San Diego to Village Voice, a New York-based newsmagazine.
VV headlined the letter: FUCK YOU.

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Earthquake Preparedness Video

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Father Poem

The Book of the Dead
a poem by Biff Russ

In Egypt, they wrote
On anything –

on the inside of coffins, of eyelids,
on the inside

of their own skin.
They sent their dead on a river of words,

to an afterlife
where everyone dwelled –

the innocent,
and the guilty,

and those who were both.
They took their bodies with them,

And their shadows followed them like children.
Father, you were a bitter man,

But there was grace
In the way you lapsed

Like memory at the end –
Like something

Forgotten,
Something

Forgiven. This is my solace –
It is not my body

For which we are released.
It is the soul

Which is lifted from us like a burden.

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Patatas

Someone wrote Philippine Daily Inquirer complaining about the use of "Igorota" as a name for a French-friable potato variety. Oh well, from what I know, the only good potatoes happen to be Indians

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Nobel


No Worry U Has Nobel Fish Fries.

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Ed Maranan


Manong Ed Maranan will be launching his new poetry book, Passage: Poems 1983 - 2006, at the Cordillera Coffee house, SM Baguio, 15 Oct. 2007, at 5 p.m. The Baguio Writers Group will be reading excerpts from the great book and also their favorite poems because it is after all World Poetry Day. A Swedish translation will follow because we are also talking about a potential Nobel Prize winner here.

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